Take care, H.Ixudean

Dear Mr. Blog,

Its hard to say goodbye to someone i do love, i mean i never felt like this to anyone before. To be honest, i never ever like a boy that studying & living really close to me. I also don't know how does these feelings kill me inside & let him be apart of my life.  Some may say,loving someone is current. You will say 'i love you' but actually you don't know is it true. But me,i'm afraid of letting go someone. My parent are too busy with their business & work. Friends, having their own life for sure. And him, suddenly appear in my life. Thank you Allah for sending me this kinda man. He loves me, i do see it every time he talk to me, every time he look into my eyes. Deeply. Ya, i was too careful before. Me? falling in love? better die now -- because i'm ridiculous to trust others. Like i swear, this one. "i'll be with him" but endless i don't know, will he be with me?? will he waits for me?? Ya, i shouldn't think bout it now, but who else i should say except him. He was the one who breaks my heart, make me smile, tender a kiss, make me cry like i let all my tears go, make me laugh half-ly insane, make me chill, the one who always be there for me, the one who protects me whenever i am, the one who hold my hand tightly, the one who hugged me to make me sure i am okay. But after this, will you waits for me? And magically happens when my mum, was a huge react by seeing me & you. How surprised. She trusted you, you're lucky enough HI. I can't believe we come to this far. My expectations? not so high but my hopes & dreams. I would like to share everything with you honey. But i know, one day. Everything will be change, Eh you know what. Every time when i'm with you i mean just me & you i fell like a different person, the one who didn't hide even a thing. Melayu kata "tak cover cun langsung" hahah And that. make me love you more. Bcos theres nothing to fear when i'm with you :') 

And i dedicate this post to you, to let you know. How much i need you in my whole world. Dude, kau tahu tak bila kau takda credit aku macam merana kejap bak kata mama macam bini mati laki. Hahah Tapi, benda yang aku tak boleh terima lagi teruk akan jadi. 2011, masuk teknik & asrama, what will happen to me? Aku tahu kau akan jawab "shea ni makan memilih, tempat kena bersih, barang kena cukup, semua kena selesa, ubat mesti ada, nanti sakit" tapi kau tertinggal satu perkara dalam list aku. "Kau kena ikut sekali :')" Hahah.Macamana aku nak gelak lepas ni when i'm so far apart with my annoying-ly funny soulmate :'( When i have to do everything alone, when i don't have you to share everything that i hate when i need you to talk something when i wanna say i do miss you a lot. How ?????

Dude. daun yang kau tulis tu. cukup buat aku rasa kau ada dengan aku, segala barang yang kau bagi. Aku akan bawak, tapi macamana nak bawak Sammy :'( Kalau boleh aku nak jumpa doraemon. Kecikkan kau & masuk dalam poket :) Aku harap kau pegang semua janji-janji kau, tolonglah jangan buat aku jealous --' kau tahu aku ni sensitive to stimuli & aku harap. Bila aku balik nanti, kau tetap orang yang aku kenal. Orang gila aku tersayang :) and i just want you to take care yourself. Kau jangan mengada nak melibatkan diri dengan segala gejala sosial-sial yang ada kay. Aku sayang kau, kau paham kan ? Sebelum aku pergi, kita pergi beli ikan kay. I want you to take care of it just like how you do to me :') 

 And please. I love you. Always.

I will miss you, every seconds babe. Thank you for your love. Jaga diri
And .. i will miss your smile, your stupid jokes & will you forget me ???
& this is my wish list :)

tunaikan atau aku bunuh kau ?? hahah ♥

Uncountable ♥s ,

your sweetheart, Mashahira